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The Worst Hack Ever

Link Thread Closed
You decide to load up a new hack by some new guy (it was really more of a pity download, how bad could it be?) After watching yourself die at the end of the title movie, you reset the SNES and decide to go ahead and see what the actual game is like. A lightning strike hits, and you are suddenly zapped into the intro sequence.

Rules: Post Mario's next move, based on what the crappiest hack ever would throw at you. Good luck!
Current sanity level:





HitlersTesticles has been kicked from #smwc by Amos: ouch
The moment the title sequence starts, you instantly die, having to beat the title sequence over and over without end. D:
You are finally quick enough to get the file load sequence, and proceed to the intro, where you fail to jump and are run over by a yellow Koopa.

[you] x 4 (if you run out of lives, you're trapped forever!)
Current sanity level:





HitlersTesticles has been kicked from #smwc by Amos: ouch
Well, that's scary... You jump over the Yellow Koopa, yet you get hit by a glitched statue fireball. You restart, and manage to get past the intro. The message is all fucked, though... You go into Yoshi's house, where there's around 60 3-up Moons. (There, that way, you won't die.) You manage to collect 14 before being squashed by three Chargin' Chucks, though. You restart the level, and get all 3-up Moons and attempt to escape... as in, you try to escape, but the Side-Exit Sprite has been erased! You die again from the Chucks.
Now, you go to the first level on the glitched overworld. As soon as you start...
you go to the right of the unchanged overworld. You go into thelevel, and state save at the mario start screen. you end up in a level that is a trap and you are stuck forever because you don't have rewind. (The level is just ground with no time limit, no exit. You restart and go to the left...
only to find that the left level is a terrible modified version of the original level. You Try to complete the level but...
the level is filled with a bunch of floating, stacked munchers, and broken off land. And you have to do the level 100% perfectly or you fail, and then once you make it to the goal tape you...
realize you forgot the P switch, false endings ftw, amirite?
I have a hack thread - Link (Now with a demo!)
Also a music thread - Link

C3 Projects
2013: Modern Spiny Pack
2012: MGSS v0.1
Spring 2010: SMB2 Autobomb Sprite
You go back into the level, get the P-switch, and finally finish that level. The overworld sends you not to the next logical level tile however, but into the hills where there is no spot to enter... You are able to get into the level anyway...
Current sanity level:





HitlersTesticles has been kicked from #smwc by Amos: ouch
Immediately, you see a Dragon Coin floating above a bunch of gray cement blocks. But when you grab it, it splits in half and gives you hundreds of lives! You continue regardless of this strange thing, and find...
that there's an exit already! But when you get through it, you fall into a pit and die. You restart the level...
[Credit for avatar]
and you notice a pipe at the beginning. You go through it...
...and as the screen pauses to let you go through, you realize it's another pit!... Until you walk on the invisible blocks (sprites). You continue down the bland path of invisible blocks, and realize that you fall down a hole that you couldn't see! You die and are forced to restart the level. You enter the same pipe and end up in a Bonus Game since the pipe was on two boundries! You restart the level, enter the pipe, and make it to the hallway of invisible blocks, and...
You are attacked by a glitched banzai bill... atleast thats what you think it is under the garbled mess. The memory is set wrong so mario disappears...
I have a hack thread - Link (Now with a demo!)
Also a music thread - Link

C3 Projects
2013: Modern Spiny Pack
2012: MGSS v0.1
Spring 2010: SMB2 Autobomb Sprite
You can't tell where you're going until you reach some cut off water. Then, thankfully, you can see bubbles coming from Mario. When you swim for a while, Mario comes back...
Mario comes back alright. He comes back when you don't realize he hit munchers! You restart the level again, go into the pipe, get past the glitched bill, and swim through the water until you realize it's a dead end, and you're forced to die! You restart the level, and...
You find a door right after the pipe and go in it, but the palettes in the next level are so eye searingly bad you go blind...
[Credit for avatar]
Causing you to stumble into a broken lava pit. You restart the level once more, and go into the door. You cover your eyes from the blinding colors, and reach a hallway of doors one after another next to each other. You enter one and fall down a pit. You restart, and try the next door. You get trapped in the Bonus Game again! You try the third one, and...
...you enter a level with very dark palettes. You see a flashing [?] block below a narrow crevice and you hit it. Too bad, there's a coin above it, which causes an invisible block to appear and block the crevice. You restart the level, enter the same door, and go up the crevice without hitting the [?] block. You see an eye-bleeding yellow pipe. You cover your eyes and go through the pipe. You end up in a ...
...unedited level! You went through it like you normally would, and cut the goal tape. Everything was going fine until you realize that it was a switch palace! Now you go back to the level to get the switch...
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