A lot of people are getting familiar with a very popular moderator, RaidenTheQuick. Fast to capture our attention and love with his record-breaking quick rise to power, friendly attitude, and general laidback attitude, he made an expedient impact on the community.
However, our researchers have found that RaidenTheQuick might not be so fast. In tonight's Super Mario World Central: Exposed, we reveal the shocking scandal that may truly reveal that the only thing Raiden was quick on, was to plateau.
After his second post, he went from rags to bitches as he was deemed overlord of the Yoshi's Island moderation, initially shocking many people and winning over the dominantly-female population. One user on the scene, who, when prompted for response of the initial event and asked to not be named during the investigation, replied, "Literally, who?" It wasn't long afterwards that he started to visit the Internet Relay Chat, commonly referred to as IRC, where he proceeded to gain the coveted operator status that many new users look towards with a gleam in their eye, others with fear, and others with corruption claims of spite. We have record of his first post, which caused the Super Nintendo world to stop at a standstill and size the situation:
[17:38:42]RaidenTheQuick: hi
...and after three minutes of unnerving silence...
[17:41:53]robertozampari: one day complete life become megaman
It was an incredible conversation that allowed him to integrate into the forum community channel full of promising, intelligent, and meme-opposed users.
However, some of us here at the station have been keeping an eye out on RaidenTheQuick, and we have found good promise.
Studies we have launched with one-hundred-percent accuracy show that RaidenTheQuick isn't so quick anymore. The graph below demonstrates his rise to power over his existence here at the forum:
As you can clearly see, RaidenTheQuick has been rather slow to progress any further than moderator; yet, he keeps "TheQuick" in his title. Is this a ploy to fool us all?
Seeking to find out this answer, we sent one of our top field agents, Andrew, commonly known here as Ergazoobi, to find RaidenTheQuick and get some answers. The results will suprise you...
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Ergazoobi met RaidenTheQuick at approximately 7:00 PM Canadian Standard Time. Under the disguise of friendship, the two had plans to see Melt Banana, a j-Pop band that plays calm music designed to stimulate the inner ying and yang. After taking one beautiful, albeit slightly blurry selfie at the concert's end, Ergazoobi (on the left) did not hold his questions back.
Click here to view a text transcription of our interview.
Our investigation is not over, but Ergazoobi is reporting a strong pain in his cerebral cortex and an aversion to light. Intoxication Specialists speculate that alcohol may or may not have been a factor.
!!!This section has been redacted from the report for suspicion of high treason!!!
--The Conclusion--
Our field evidence, hard evidence, and great use of imagery and symbolism conclude nothing other than the fact that RaidenTheQuick should be known as nothing other than RaidenTheSlow. File a staff complaint here immediately!
Article Credits
Article Author: NoelYoshi
Field Agent and Article Support: Ergazoobi
Captain of Office Morale: Nameless
LYING CHEATING SON OF A BITCH SATANIC MODERATOR: RaidenTheQuick
ZSNES Advocate and Opinionated Memer: eXcavator
However, our researchers have found that RaidenTheQuick might not be so fast. In tonight's Super Mario World Central: Exposed, we reveal the shocking scandal that may truly reveal that the only thing Raiden was quick on, was to plateau.
After his second post, he went from rags to bitches as he was deemed overlord of the Yoshi's Island moderation, initially shocking many people and winning over the dominantly-female population. One user on the scene, who, when prompted for response of the initial event and asked to not be named during the investigation, replied, "Literally, who?" It wasn't long afterwards that he started to visit the Internet Relay Chat, commonly referred to as IRC, where he proceeded to gain the coveted operator status that many new users look towards with a gleam in their eye, others with fear, and others with corruption claims of spite. We have record of his first post, which caused the Super Nintendo world to stop at a standstill and size the situation:
[17:38:42]RaidenTheQuick: hi
...and after three minutes of unnerving silence...
[17:41:53]robertozampari: one day complete life become megaman
It was an incredible conversation that allowed him to integrate into the forum community channel full of promising, intelligent, and meme-opposed users.
However, some of us here at the station have been keeping an eye out on RaidenTheQuick, and we have found good promise.
Studies we have launched with one-hundred-percent accuracy show that RaidenTheQuick isn't so quick anymore. The graph below demonstrates his rise to power over his existence here at the forum:
As you can clearly see, RaidenTheQuick has been rather slow to progress any further than moderator; yet, he keeps "TheQuick" in his title. Is this a ploy to fool us all?
Seeking to find out this answer, we sent one of our top field agents, Andrew, commonly known here as Ergazoobi, to find RaidenTheQuick and get some answers. The results will suprise you...
Top 13 Photos That Will Make You Loooooooove Raccoons!!
Advertisement by Buzzfeed, Inc.
Ergazoobi met RaidenTheQuick at approximately 7:00 PM Canadian Standard Time. Under the disguise of friendship, the two had plans to see Melt Banana, a j-Pop band that plays calm music designed to stimulate the inner ying and yang. After taking one beautiful, albeit slightly blurry selfie at the concert's end, Ergazoobi (on the left) did not hold his questions back.
Click here to view a text transcription of our interview.
Our investigation is not over, but Ergazoobi is reporting a strong pain in his cerebral cortex and an aversion to light. Intoxication Specialists speculate that alcohol may or may not have been a factor.
!!!This section has been redacted from the report for suspicion of high treason!!!
--The Conclusion--
Our field evidence, hard evidence, and great use of imagery and symbolism conclude nothing other than the fact that RaidenTheQuick should be known as nothing other than RaidenTheSlow. File a staff complaint here immediately!
Article Credits
Article Author: NoelYoshi
Field Agent and Article Support: Ergazoobi
Captain of Office Morale: Nameless
LYING CHEATING SON OF A BITCH SATANIC MODERATOR: RaidenTheQuick
ZSNES Advocate and Opinionated Memer: eXcavator